Self Confidence; How to Nurture It.

Inspired by the biggest and most impactful piece of education I've consumed this year for The Communication Shop; you have to share pieces of yourself, in order to have your business understood.

I vividly remember being in my final year of varsity, and a friend of mine presenting her 'trend analysis' as part of our final submission for our Majors. She stood up there and presented a take on 'Global Narcissism', which she had forecasted to be the 'new-norm' we'd be seeing everyday in the near future. This was 2013, where we used to carry around those small digital cameras in all colours of the rainbow. And I remember thinking 'sure, I've had a camera angled in my face, one-armed, in a bar or two...but doing it MYSELF. Alone! In my BEDROOM? never going to happen.' Little did I know then that she was some what of an oracle.

Fast forward to 2021, and we're inundated with images of people we know (or don't); in self-portraiture. Who isn't taking images of themselves and pasting it everywhere they possibly can? (p.s. the answer is many of us!).

Well, see, here's the thing; in my opinion, there seems to be a two-pronged approach that we're NOT focusing on...the first being that, because this is such a normalised standard practice online now, there are many people, battling through psychological challenges such as body dysmorphia (BDD) or imposter syndrome; and still having to keep up with the trends. By cultivating the new-norm of having ourselves presenting our own gaze, we've also normalised the demand. People are more interested in seeing an image of a person than an interest (do yourself a favour and have a look at your own analytics on Instagram or Facebook - what are your selfies telling you versus what pictures of a sunset are).

So - how do we nurture self confidence to get us to the point of being able to easily share images of the people behind the businesses we're trying to grow?

If I look back to where I was 5 years ago, there is an irony that seems unassuming, but is, in actual fact, pivotal to my growth. 5 years ago, I would be in front of a camera without pause. 3 years ago, when I was heading up a social media department for an agency I worked for, I would create video content almost everyday - with myself being IN the footage. But today, it literally takes me a good 4-5 days to psyche myself up to take the image, and then at least another 3 to have the courage to share it. Why?

Because 5 years ago, I was still building my confidence. I was habitually participating in behaviour and actions that were deemed the 'step-by-step' process to gaining confidence. I practiced saying what was on my mind (and why) and documenting good days, bad days and 'fake-it-till-you-make-it' days. And you know what? It worked. Through these experiences and practices I learnt who I was, and who I was not. There are pieces of content that I look back on and think 'oh hey, I was being really authentic here', and many more where I cringe because I would never hold myself in such a way today. Today, I am much more mindful of what I put out, painstakingly ensuring that it is real.

But WHY is getting over this important, you may ask? It's important, because in 2021, the story telling of your business - especially new businesses - is imperative to engaging your audience. Gone are the days where you can create a flyer with rate cards or products and pricing, and aimlessly post onto Facebook. With the world getting bigger, and greater access to each other rapidly increasing; people want to know people. They want to know who is behind the work or items they're paying for, and they want to equally buy into your dreams and ideas as much as they want to purchase your services. Trends such as sustainability , traceability and reliability negate half-hearted communication tactics.

So here's the key, I believe, to building your self confidence; hold yourself accountable, everyday, to your most authentic self.

It might seem silly, but here are the steps:

If you like tea instead of coffee - order tea. If you're speaking negatively in your head about someone - ask yourself if you'd communicate this TO THEM - if not, change your thoughts. You've decided today you want to wear a crop top with your suit? Do it. If you get into trouble for it; examine your internal response - are you angry for being called out? Good. Anger shows you what your values are. Now, examine your values - are you angry about being controlled? About having to adhere to patriarchal dress standards? Or maybe you're angry because your unique identity is being questioned and your goal in life is to be individual and autonomous because you believe this is the way forward. Whatever it is, get to know yourself. Next time you get reprimanded for your outfit, your response is less likely to be 'I look bad and therefore feel ashamed' and much more likely to be devoid of reaction and more along the lines of 'they don't like or understand my outfit, and that's ok. They don't have to wear it'. If you still get into trouble, you'll have the opportunity to decide to find a place better suited to who you are.

If you work on this, and towards being truly YOU, you'll find that you no longer have to second guess the forth-coming opinions of others; because they no longer matter anyway. And born from this is confidence.

The next thing you know, you'll post the picture or do the interview or guest on the Podcast; which will open more doors for you. Even if you do it scared, you'll have yourself to back you - because you know who you are now, and there's no going back.

Then the real magic happens, because you introduce yourself to your audience, and start creating real, interesting and engaging content. Then, you truly become a story teller, and people will begin to pay attention.

I'm me. Please, be you.

T.